Portal your way into their hearts (figuratively)

In just seventy-two short hours it'll be Valentine's Day, and that means pressure: finding a girlfriend or boyfriend, for one, then figuring out the perfect romantic gift to give them.

We're going to help you with the "perfect romantic gift" part Monday, but first things first: let's bag you a Valentine!

How? With Aperture Science "Classy Romance"-brand Valentine's Day cards. They express a wide variety of today's most popular emotions. And you can print them, on an even wider variety of flat surfaces, from paper to sexy edible paper. Then you can mail them, using a preposterously wide variety of envelopes and stamps.

"Mail?" you're thinking. "Do people still use that?" No. That's why it's so romantic: because if your entire plan to win over your Valentine's heart is sending them an email, why not just text them? In fact, why not just think it, alone, in a restaurant, on Valentine's Day? Maybe your waiter will feel sorry for you and mail you one of these dynamite Valentines.

Download your DIY Valentines cards here (PDF): In English, French, German, Japanese, Swedish, or Portuguese.